








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2115 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1920 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,978 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | WHABEEB | 52% | 91 |
| #9 | Stew1e3k (스튜) | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | Midnight Bum Tickler | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Mr Killy Wiggles | 49% | 93 |
| #12 | Frostyyy | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Wabbit | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | WHABEEB | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | 999 | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Mr Killy Wiggles | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | socksboomross | 4 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Wabbit | 464 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mr Killy Wiggles | 293 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Stew1e3k (스튜) | 255 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #4 | WHABEEB | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | 999 | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |





