








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 640 | 21% |
| Smokes | 695 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 862 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 871 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,777 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♛Cichy | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | ♛Marlboro Man | 64% | 25 |
| #6 | GhostFlaily | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | bERT gD ✠ | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | Fr4nklin | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Marlboro Man | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ☆DZIKU☆ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Marlboro Man | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | ☆DZIKU☆ | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ♛Cichy | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | GhostFlaily | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | bERT gD ✠ | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |





