








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,850 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roberino | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Gianni | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Yung Dracula | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 51% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roberino | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Gianni | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Yung Dracula | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 51% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | 240 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | 29 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Roberino | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gianni | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yung Dracula | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓑𝒆𝒆𝓚𝓪𝓪𝔂‽ | +2.47 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | xPLOSE ! brM | +2.07 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Roberino | +1.72 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | *dnL.'_DeKaa #MrK ♥ | +0.72 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | Gianni | -1.50 | 64 | 46 |





