








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2710 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2362 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,065 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkBacca | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | thickjawn | 47% | 135 |
| #3 | snorax | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | shavkat | 43% | 70 |
| #5 | eblouin | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | snorax | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | shavkat | 43% | 70 |
| #5 | eblouin | 42% | 69 |
| #6 | Pondering The Orb | 37% | 27 |
| #7 | Lechuga | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thickjawn | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | shavkat | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | eblouin | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Lechuga | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | snorax | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snorax | 325 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | DarkBacca | 235 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | thickjawn | 158 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | eblouin | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | shavkat | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | +2.31 | 87 | 40 |
| #2 | thickjawn | +1.97 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | DarkBacca | +1.53 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | snorax | -0.71 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | shavkat | -1.59 | 49 | 64 |





