








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2463 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2535 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2172 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,476 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadyb | 74% | 53 |
| #2 | veggeh if he was mentally retard | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | nyllet | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | 666PANZERKAMPFWAGEN999 | 59% | 143 |
| #5 | xZimmeBoi ︻芫=---- HöStLoV ^^ | 58% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xZimmeBoi ︻芫=---- HöStLoV ^^ | 387 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | 666PANZERKAMPFWAGEN999 | 235 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | shadyb | 205 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Linq | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Каре́лин | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |





