








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 977 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2089 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 890 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1731 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,419,951 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ★ Vize ★ | 50% | 117 |
| #5 | Natural | 49% | 247 |
| #6 | addie | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Flames | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | wellsnap | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Vize ★ | 34 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Natural | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Robitussin Enthusiast | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Addie | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | addie | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robitussin Enthusiast | 727 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Natural | 421 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | ★ Vize ★ | 412 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Addie | 305 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | addie | 207 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robitussin Enthusiast | +3.15 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | ★ Vize ★ | +1.96 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Addie | +1.85 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | addie | +1.83 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | Natural | +1.16 | 78 | 50 |





