








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4606 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1538 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3498 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2652 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,995 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whalacketale | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | 360hzPeek | Capsen | 51% | 133 |
| #3 | D3V0_62 | 49% | 65 |
| #4 | Smilo™ | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | What_if_Yes | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smilo™ | 327 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | 360hzPeek | Capsen | 300 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | D3V0_62 | 272 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Canis Majoris ツ | 231 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | whalacketale | 185 | 0.20 | 3 min |





