








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1069 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1051 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,305 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elijah "Cranking 90's" Brillo | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Döner Güzel | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | Cyxie | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | God | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | WhileYouWait | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Döner Güzel | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Cyxie | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | River Flower | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | God | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Chdr (washed) | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elijah "Cranking 90's" Brillo | +2.26 | 65 | 54 |
| #2 | Döner Güzel | +2.24 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | Chdr (washed) | +1.91 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Cyxie | +1.22 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | Cyboshi | +0.76 | 51 | 57 |





