








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2551 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3436 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2961 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2048 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,744 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilfi | 48% | 270 |
| #2 | mcb | 47% | 172 |
| #3 | NoHackSkill | 46% | 181 |
| #4 | ✪ aimbott | 44% | 173 |
| #5 | Zyle | 43% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gilfi | 48% | 270 |
| #2 | mcb | 47% | 172 |
| #3 | NoHackSkill | 46% | 181 |
| #4 | ✪ aimbott | 44% | 173 |
| #5 | Zyle | 43% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyle | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ✪ aimbott | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | mcb | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | NoHackSkill | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Gilfi | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcb | 672 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | ✪ aimbott | 601 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | Zyle | 579 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | NoHackSkill | 430 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Gilfi | 281 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcb | +1.44 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Gilfi | +0.71 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | JaKol | +0.44 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | Zyle | -1.19 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ aimbott | -1.49 | 60 | 63 |





