








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 10% |
| Smokes | 938 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2535 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,329,250 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Melia | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | ☆ 229 ☆ Fabulous ☆ | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | insert username here | 48% | 44 |
| #8 | EvilAntichrist | 47% | 107 |
| #9 | DoubleOwnage(Headshoot?) | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ 229 ☆ Fabulous ☆ | +2.68 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | AimTriX | +1.03 | 29 | 72 |
| #3 | EvilAntichrist | +0.61 | 27 | 61 |
| #4 | insert username here | +0.38 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | Protum | +0.10 | 15 | 65 |





