








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1688 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2258 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2396 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1778 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,792 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kahl Marx | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | Captain Crunch | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | ♛ dannyL | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | ✠ MK-OPA ✠ | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | ♛ Nazty | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kahl Marx | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | Captain Crunch | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | ♛ dannyL | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | ✠ MK-OPA ✠ | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | ♛ Nazty | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ dannyL | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Captain Crunch | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ✠ MK-OPA ✠ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kahl Marx | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ♛ Nazty | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ dannyL | 379 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Captain Crunch | 274 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✠ MK-OPA ✠ | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kahl Marx | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♛ Nazty | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ dannyL | +2.40 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | slim | +1.15 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Captain Crunch | -0.73 | 63 | 49 |
| #4 | Kahl Marx | -0.79 | 66 | 36 |
| #5 | ✠ MK-OPA ✠ | -2.41 | 37 | 73 |





