








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1097 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5014 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3810 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5196 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4195 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,703,599 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanM | 42 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Thixer | 24 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | The3Genuine3Propa | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | TonightOnTopGear | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | The People's Champion | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thixer | 741 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | DanM | 347 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #3 | TonightOnTopGear | 318 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | The People's Champion | 278 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | The3Genuine3Propa | 253 | 0.04 | 5 min |





