








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3854 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5296 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5133 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3712 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,263 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanM | 36 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Smudge | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | The3Genuine3Propa | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | The People's Champion | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Azz | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smudge | 857 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | DanM | 334 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | The People's Champion | 320 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | The3Genuine3Propa | 220 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Azz | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thixer | +2.43 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | DanM | +2.00 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Smudge | +1.51 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | Azz | +0.52 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | The People's Champion | -2.11 | 41 | 68 |





