








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2686 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2622 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2589 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,002 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | MR. ZANO | 50% | 28 |
| #10 | Rase | 50% | 36 |
| #11 | Heisak | 48% | 46 |
| #12 | FUCK SAUSAGES IN OVEN | 42% | 38 |
| #13 | ⛧ SATAnic addict fish ⛧ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR. ZANO | 109 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rase | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dyny | 96 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Heisak | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | TPHN | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Likvidoija | +3.42 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | MR. ZANO | +2.85 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Glapidi | +2.82 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | TPHN | +1.92 | 86 | 73 |
| #5 | Rase | +1.79 | 82 | 70 |





