








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 224 | 19% |
| Smokes | 92 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 320 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,542 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golf Enthusiast Sulli | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | r⭕⃤Y | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | BingusFlip | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | m4t | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golf Enthusiast Sulli | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | r⭕⃤Y | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | BingusFlip | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | m4t | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r⭕⃤Y | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Golf Enthusiast Sulli | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golf Enthusiast Sulli | 170 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | BingusFlip | 68 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | m4t | 52 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | r⭕⃤Y | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r⭕⃤Y | +1.51 | 50 | 52 |
| #2 | m4t | +0.00 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | Golf Enthusiast Sulli | -0.27 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | BingusFlip | -0.35 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | MrCactus | -1.01 | 74 | 35 |





