








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1968 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 525 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,394 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | 61% | 142 |
| #2 | Esskeetit | 56% | 157 |
| #3 | LJ | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | thedanger | 53% | 118 |
| #5 | BubbaTheRat | 53% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BubbaTheRat | 107 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Shrimpleton | 98 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | Esskeetit | 52 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | AJP | 25 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | thedanger | 15 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | 879 | 0.31 | 24 min |
| #2 | Shrimpleton | 782 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | BubbaTheRat | 504 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | thedanger | 321 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | ethan | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | +4.21 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | Shrimpleton | +2.65 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | thedanger | +2.03 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | LJ | +1.19 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | ethan | +0.86 | 68 | 52 |





