








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




220 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3603 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5108 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3052 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,370,481 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1064 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | 55% | 349 |
| #2 | Oinkelstein | 53% | 256 |
| #3 | thedanger | 51% | 241 |
| #4 | ethan | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | Esskeetit | 51% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrimpleton | 164 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Esskeetit | 85 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Oinkelstein | 44 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | AJP | 40 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | thedanger | 31 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | 2100 | 0.30 | 60 min |
| #2 | Shrimpleton | 1447 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #3 | thedanger | 616 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | Oinkelstein | 257 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | ethan | 142 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJP | +3.91 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | Shrimpleton | +2.04 | 58 | 55 |
| #3 | thedanger | +1.95 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | LJ | +0.84 | 58 | 37 |
| #5 | ethan | +0.72 | 67 | 56 |





