








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5146 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3420 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2741 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2600 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,329 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grantypoo | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | JC Denton | 39% | 36 |
| #3 | Jellied_JimBob | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | Louis | 32% | 57 |
| #5 | misha | 31% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grantypoo | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | JC Denton | 39% | 36 |
| #3 | Jellied_JimBob | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | Louis | 32% | 57 |
| #5 | misha | 31% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misha | 24 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | grantypoo | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Louis | 10 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Jellied_JimBob | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grantypoo | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | misha | 178 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Louis | 168 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | JC Denton | 96 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jellied_JimBob | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louis | +5.84 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | JC Denton | +4.79 | 48 | 62 |
| #3 | grantypoo | +4.05 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | AlexanderTheGreat | -2.33 | 14 | 55 |
| #5 | Jellied_JimBob | -3.47 | 42 | 23 |





