








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 480 | 16% |
| Smokes | 830 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 853 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,330 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H0ward | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Rizzly Bear | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Shiflomeister | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | cTonini | 45% | 136 |
| #5 | Zooted | 44% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shiflomeister | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | cTonini | 45% | 136 |
| #5 | Zooted | 44% | 149 |
| #6 | MONKEY D. LUFFY | 35% | 26 |
| #7 | NoMoneyHere | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cTonini | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Shiflomeister | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Zooted | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | H0ward | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | MONKEY D. LUFFY | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cTonini | 484 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Shiflomeister | 476 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Zooted | 475 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | H0ward | 159 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | NoMoneyHere | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiflomeister | +3.11 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | NoMoneyHere | +2.52 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | H0ward | +1.84 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | atk | +1.30 | 79 | 41 |
| #5 | cTonini | -0.20 | 81 | 61 |





