








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2025 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1631 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,420 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viemärirotta | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Teresa31 | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | vald | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | lasi | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | Tuksu | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Teresa31 | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | vald | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | lasi | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | Tuksu | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | late "ikin gänäs" late | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasi | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Teresa31 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | vald | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Tuksu | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Viemärirotta | 2 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teresa31 | 280 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | lasi | 176 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | vald | 125 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tuksu | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | late "ikin gänäs" late | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vald | +1.70 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Tuksu | +1.55 | 84 | 47 |
| #3 | Avustaja | +0.60 | 54 | 60 |
| #4 | lasi | +0.11 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | Teresa31 | +0.06 | 62 | 68 |





