








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5306 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4072 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3197 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3592 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,579 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biggest pilker | 68% | 196 |
| #2 | arska | 66% | 83 |
| #3 | Mamseri | 66% | 144 |
| #4 | lasi | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | miaumor | 62% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Viemärirotta | 61% | 54 |
| #8 | Snadels | 60% | 58 |
| #9 | Tuksu | 54% | 50 |
| #10 | Avustaja | 52% | 25 |
| #11 | jyrgensen | 51% | 47 |





