








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 997 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1714 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3089 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1956 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2583 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,725 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TrimmedViper | 46% | 145 |
| #4 | Guppuccino | 46% | 277 |
| #5 | Amara | 44% | 173 |
| #6 | Pb | 43% | 40 |
| #7 | RoseTehFoxo | 41% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guppuccino | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | RoseTehFoxo | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Willow_The_Wisp | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | TrimmedViper | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Pb | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoseTehFoxo | 316 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Willow_The_Wisp | 316 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Amara | 237 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Guppuccino | 120 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pb | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |





