








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 480 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5534 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5105 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6079 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,756,757 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tokk | 60% | 84 |
| #2 | d0mZ1k | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | Dmitry | 59% | 103 |
| #4 | smiley | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Kindow | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | .Frankk | 55% | 33 |
| #7 | Tor | 55% | 222 |
| #8 | s | 54% | 56 |
| #9 | ak1n0 | 53% | 40 |
| #10 | PazZzoOo | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PazZzoOo | 10 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Tokk | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | s | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Dmitry | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | smiley | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dmitry | 722 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #2 | Tor | 546 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Tokk | 387 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | PazZzoOo | 172 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | s | 133 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiley | +2.12 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | d0mZ1k | +2.08 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | .Frankk | +1.65 | 91 | 58 |
| #4 | PazZzoOo | +1.03 | 89 | 53 |
| #5 | Tor | +0.99 | 84 | 67 |





