








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 27% |
| Smokes | 820 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 676 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,077 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 57% | 96 |
| #2 | Hidong | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | Team ZephyR|M | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Mouse squeal squeal | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | luxan29 | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 57% | 96 |
| #2 | Hidong | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | Team ZephyR|M | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Mouse squeal squeal | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | luxan29 | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | luxan29 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Team ZephyR|M | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Hidong | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Mouse squeal squeal | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 263 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hidong | 237 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Team ZephyR|M | 92 | 0.44 | 3 min |
| #4 | luxan29 | 91 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mouse squeal squeal | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | +7.62 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | Team ZephyR|M | +2.00 | 57 | 79 |
| #3 | Hidong | +1.66 | 47 | 54 |
| #4 | 한여름의밤의꿀 | -1.00 | 21 | 43 |
| #5 | luxan29 | -6.49 | 2 | 45 |





