








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5064 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3771 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2912 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1249 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,538 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 60% | 106 |
| #2 | 무적함대 | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Hidong | 55% | 148 |
| #4 | ROAD TO SILVER 1 | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Mouse squeal squeal | 53% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haribo | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | G-Park | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Hidong | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | luxan29 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Mouse squeal squeal | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hidong | 501 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | luxan29 | 486 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mouse squeal squeal | 346 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | ROAD TO SILVER 1 | 167 | 0.41 | 4 min |
| #5 | G-Park | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |





