








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3262 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1981 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2702 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,862 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -Arrow- | 43% | 97 |
| #5 | tortellini | 43% | 253 |
| #6 | Sil3NT | 37% | 123 |
| #7 | Ted Kaczynski | 36% | 45 |
| #8 | YungSchmeat | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eugene | 21 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Perk | 20 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | tortellini | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Sil3NT | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | -Arrow- | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perk | 1398 | 0.29 | 39 min |
| #2 | tortellini | 809 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | Sil3NT | 481 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Eugene | 413 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | -Arrow- | 199 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perk | +5.38 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Eugene | +3.34 | 89 | 39 |
| #3 | -Arrow- | +1.04 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | Sil3NT | -0.27 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | zolo | -0.88 | 59 | 61 |





