








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2534 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1849 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,358 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yame | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | 6amble | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Alan Delon | 62% | 82 |
| #4 | eFF- | 61% | 72 |
| #5 | zavy^ | 60% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yame | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | 6amble | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Alan Delon | 62% | 82 |
| #4 | eFF- | 61% | 72 |
| #5 | zavy^ | 60% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alan Delon | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | eFF- | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | yame | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | 6amble | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eFF- | 164 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Alan Delon | 138 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | zavy^ | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | yame | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | 6amble | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nekro ^-^ | +2.93 | 65 | 63 |
| #2 | zavy^ | +1.47 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | yame | +1.10 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | eFF- | -0.77 | 40 | 63 |
| #5 | Alan Delon | -1.52 | 44 | 55 |





