








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1748 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1536 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,821 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lysander | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Domestic | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | z0mb1e | 66% | 59 |
| #4 | Ken | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | arias | 60% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | z0mb1e | 66% | 59 |
| #4 | Ken | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | arias | 60% | 47 |
| #6 | Panda | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | Caprisun | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arias | 32 | 0.0331 |
| #2 | Lysander | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Ken | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | z0mb1e | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Caprisun | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z0mb1e | 405 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | Caprisun | 218 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #3 | Panda | 189 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ken | 163 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lysander | 140 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z0mb1e | +3.51 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | arias | +2.94 | 96 | 35 |
| #3 | Domestic | +1.82 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Lysander | +1.52 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | Panda | +0.34 | 64 | 71 |





