








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5625 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4578 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4467 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4406 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,986 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akatixxc | 50% | 102 |
| #2 | Pete | 50% | 276 |
| #3 | Thunder | 49% | 301 |
| #4 | Witsand | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akatixxc | 50% | 102 |
| #2 | Pete | 50% | 276 |
| #3 | Thunder | 49% | 301 |
| #4 | Witsand | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunder | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Pete | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Witsand | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thunder | 669 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Akatixxc | 271 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pete | 179 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Witsand | 123 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Witsand | +2.37 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Rassukka | +0.52 | 80 | 75 |
| #3 | Pete | +0.45 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | Akatixxc | -0.67 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Thunder | -1.38 | 50 | 61 |





