








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1859 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3954 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1264 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,247 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woodrowechillson | 19 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Dankonite | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Char Aznable | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Snazzy | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Eugene | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankonite | 738 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #2 | woodrowechillson | 669 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | aDefiance | 489 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Char Aznable | 362 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Snazzy | 328 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankonite | +3.92 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Snazzy | +1.70 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | Woffles:: | +0.88 | 60 | 44 |
| #4 | Carl's Jr | +0.34 | 20 | 65 |
| #5 | woodrowechillson | -0.88 | 44 | 52 |





