








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7591 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5714 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5043 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3317 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,543,701 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankonite | 54% | 374 |
| #2 | Eugene | 53% | 124 |
| #3 | Snazzy | 53% | 183 |
| #4 | aDefiance | 52% | 275 |
| #5 | woodrowechillson | 50% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankonite | 35 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | woodrowechillson | 35 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Woffles:: | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Carl's Jr | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Millard_Chillmore | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dankonite | +4.85 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Snazzy | +3.06 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | Woffles:: | +0.81 | 62 | 36 |
| #4 | woodrowechillson | -0.11 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | Carl's Jr | -0.21 | 24 | 61 |





