








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Wingman | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3523 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2720 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2665 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 953 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,128,948 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smelly bong water | 40% | 168 |
| #2 | Slawter | 40% | 65 |
| #3 | ktrl :> | 37% | 79 |
| #4 | Oddity | 32% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smelly bong water | 40% | 168 |
| #2 | Slawter | 40% | 65 |
| #3 | ktrl :> | 37% | 79 |
| #4 | Oddity | 32% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oddity | 54 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | ktrl :> | 25 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Slawter | 21 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | smelly bong water | 9 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oddity | 270 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Slawter | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | ktrl :> | 48 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | smelly bong water | 45 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slawter | +4.31 | 77 | 19 |
| #2 | ktrl :> | +2.64 | 61 | 15 |
| #3 | smelly bong water | +0.21 | 35 | 15 |
| #4 | Tweek Tweak | -1.54 | 38 | 41 |
| #5 | Oddity | -2.77 | 38 | 30 |





