








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 56 | 15% |
| Smokes | 59 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 163 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,244 of utility $347 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hampusxd | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | cacciatore di frutta | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Elias | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | 6 foot 7 gaming champion | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | jM | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elias | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | jM | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Dag Hammarkskjöld | 2 | 0.0500 |
| #4 | 6 foot 7 gaming champion | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | hampusxd | 1 | 0.0120 |





