








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1095 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3905 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5313 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5221 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,438,554 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2001 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | iimina | 51% | 195 |
| #7 | luckygreenfrog | 51% | 69 |
| #8 | Almost Korean | 47% | 124 |
| #9 | Otis | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | Mav | 42% | 91 |





