








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Italy | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 102 | 7% |
| Smokes | 561 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 313 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,326 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyazono Kaori | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Yui★ | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Cenedikt Bumberbatch | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | Maku | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | FredDY | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kiCos² | 60% | 5 |
| #11 | NoScope | 60% | 5 |
| #12 | NAXZ ♡ | 50% | 4 |
| #13 | kicos | 50% | 10 |
| #14 | Daxter/13inch Monitor | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FredDY | +5.15 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | Miyazono Kaori | +3.06 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Maku | +2.71 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | Sebo | +1.99 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | NAXZ ♡ | +1.47 | 72 | 31 |





