








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3362 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2550 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2771 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2245 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,887 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fate | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | ザー・エヴェント・フォールムズ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | soy bitch latte | 51% | 208 |
| #4 | Fancy | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fate | 57% | 129 |
| #2 | ザー・エヴェント・フォールムズ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | soy bitch latte | 51% | 208 |
| #4 | Fancy | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soy bitch latte | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Fate | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Fancy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soy bitch latte | 417 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Fate | 389 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fancy | 147 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | ザー・エヴェント・フォールムズ | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soy bitch latte | +3.09 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | Fate | +1.40 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Lee Dae Hoon | -0.30 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | ザー・エヴェント・フォールムズ | -1.02 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | Fancy | -1.95 | 55 | 64 |





