










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 627 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,604 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Simon | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Malte | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | Piano Reeves | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Ito | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Piano Reeves | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Ito | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | αѕѕιѕт | 49% | 49 |
| #7 | xsali412™ | 47% | 59 |
| #8 | 133769420 | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xsali412™ | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Malte | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 133769420 | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | αѕѕιѕт | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Simon | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xsali412™ | 230 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Malte | 198 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | αѕѕιѕт | 166 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | 133769420 | 136 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #5 | Piano Reeves | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars | +3.15 | 42 | 72 |
| #2 | Malte | +1.68 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | CarFroogles | +1.23 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | Piano Reeves | +0.39 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Simon | -1.22 | 38 | 56 |





