








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1036 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3649 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4072 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3578 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6213 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,013,297 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salamyaleykym | 58% | 71 |
| #2 | monkle | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | BOOMSHLANG | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | T-Frizzy | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | jameszboy | 49% | 349 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BOOMSHLANG | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | T-Frizzy | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | jameszboy | 49% | 349 |
| #6 | Lumber | 46% | 63 |
| #7 | Fizzy | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jameszboy | 22 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | BOOMSHLANG | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | salamyaleykym | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Lumber | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | T-Frizzy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jameszboy | 866 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #2 | BOOMSHLANG | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | salamyaleykym | 186 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | monkle | 141 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fizzy | 96 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salamyaleykym | +2.39 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | duzty | +1.56 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | monkle | +0.50 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Fizzy | -0.64 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | BOOMSHLANG | -1.12 | 67 | 35 |





