








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2259 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2954 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2791 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,256 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BuschWacker | 46% | 72 |
| #5 | Central Muckin | 46% | 94 |
| #6 | Brazenzo | 44% | 84 |
| #7 | T-Frizzy | 44% | 200 |
| #8 | jameszboy | 40% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Frizzy | 306 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | jameszboy | 274 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Central Muckin | 244 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | duzty | 134 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | BOOMSHLANG | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |





