








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1944 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1311 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 603 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,335 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koil | 20 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Physical Retardation | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Mr.TaylorSwift | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | crashcx | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Kwikfire | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koil | 373 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Physical Retardation | 244 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | crashcx | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kwikfire | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mr.TaylorSwift | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koil | +2.16 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Zoop-doop | +2.03 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Physical Retardation | +0.97 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | crashcx | -3.62 | 62 | 42 |
| #5 | Mr.TaylorSwift | -4.00 | 37 | 29 |





