








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1563 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1449 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,203 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪EdZk | 56% | 153 |
| #2 | Wilsumeister | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | peepeeinurpooper | 51% | 106 |
| #4 | Diddler | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Jusis | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | peepeeinurpooper | 51% | 106 |
| #4 | Diddler | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Jusis | 50% | 62 |
| #6 | Snyrz | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | 何かたわごと | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪EdZk | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | peepeeinurpooper | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Wilsumeister | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Jusis | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Snyrz | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪EdZk | 559 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | peepeeinurpooper | 182 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jusis | 149 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wilsumeister | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | 何かたわごと | 128 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jusis | +2.26 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Wilsumeister | +1.72 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | ✪EdZk | +1.70 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | Snyrz | +0.40 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | cow | -0.23 | 71 | 67 |





