








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 399 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1000 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1017 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,056 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +300$ | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | bh | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | Weezy✓ | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Maçãs | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | XaNGaii | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +300$ | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | bh | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | Weezy✓ | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Maçãs | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | XaNGaii | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bh | 46 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Weezy✓ | 19 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Maçãs | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | +300$ | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maçãs | 233 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Weezy✓ | 231 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | +300$ | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | bh | 109 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | XaNGaii | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bh | +3.74 | 56 | 48 |
| #2 | Weezy✓ | -0.34 | 37 | 62 |
| #3 | Maçãs | -0.93 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | uDrins | -1.33 | 52 | 50 |
| #5 | +300$ | -1.84 | 39 | 69 |





