








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7850 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4882 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7028 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,557,552 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parkinson's Peter | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | Neeks | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | Sus Shiber* | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | air_switch | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | Dawg | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HoWLS | 50% | 44 |
| #8 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 49% | 69 |
| #9 | Just Jesse | 49% | 51 |
| #10 | Adeft | 48% | 87 |
| #11 | Hades | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parkinson's Peter | 15 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Neeks | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Adeft | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Sus Shiber* | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adeft | 392 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Neeks | 371 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 271 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | air_switch | 260 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sus Shiber* | 221 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIWIH | +1.63 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Sus Shiber* | +1.57 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Killer | +0.92 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | air_switch | +0.81 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Neeks | +0.33 | 77 | 63 |





