








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1488 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,443 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cancani | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Funzio | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Aniro | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | DestroYar | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | ScRaF | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zuLE * | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Andi | 38% | 58 |
| #9 | Meddon | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | xDrK | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | R1Kz-_- | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cancani | 3 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | DestroYar | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Andi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andi | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lenny | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Meddon | 69 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aniro | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | R1Kz-_- | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1Kz-_- | +2.37 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | zuLE * | +2.32 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | .tschättu | +1.43 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | DestroYar | +0.50 | 46 | 68 |
| #5 | xDrK | +0.36 | 81 | 58 |





