








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3452 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3643 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2471 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2947 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,007 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Chik3N | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | .seph | 40% | 63 |
| #8 | THG | 37% | 27 |
| #9 | bunk! | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | funkywunk | 30% | 20 |





