








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2695 | 32% |
| Smokes | 691 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 3041 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2070 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,139 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aztec1K | 59% | 147 |
| #2 | bunk! | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | P2k | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | Lil Huey | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | funkywunk | 52% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunk! | 25 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | sixas | 20 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | funkywunk | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Aztec1K | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | P2k | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sixas | 246 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | funkywunk | 204 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aztec1K | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | P2k | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | bunk! | 111 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THG | +4.13 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | sixas | +3.76 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | Darknight | +0.85 | 24 | 65 |
| #4 | Lil Huey | +0.54 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | P2k | -0.81 | 73 | 56 |





