








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 743 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3504 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3123 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,011 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | quc | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | jDiegus | 41% | 170 |
| #8 | Process of deforestation | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | Kalitson | 41% | 150 |
| #10 | Łyshyツ | 40% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalitson | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Łyshyツ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | DaVinCiii | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Antonio LeBonx'1616 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Mleko.S | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antonio LeBonx'1616 | 486 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | jDiegus | 276 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Łyshyツ | 193 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | MFG2 | 176 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | DaVinCiii | 150 | 0.04 | 4 min |





