








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2597 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2092 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2179 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1449 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,616 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sugar Gay | 45% | 163 |
| #2 | JRW | 43% | 122 |
| #3 | Bert Cocaine | 43% | 72 |
| #4 | Grizzly | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sugar Gay | 45% | 163 |
| #2 | JRW | 43% | 122 |
| #3 | Bert Cocaine | 43% | 72 |
| #4 | Grizzly | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRW | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Bert Cocaine | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Sugar Gay | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Grizzly | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sugar Gay | 270 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | JRW | 201 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bert Cocaine | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Grizzly | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skibadeee | +1.43 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | Bert Cocaine | +0.80 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | JRW | +0.20 | 79 | 37 |
| #4 | Sugar Gay | -2.42 | 41 | 50 |
| #5 | Grizzly | -3.28 | 22 | 36 |





