








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 168 | 19% |
| Smokes | 303 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 241 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 165 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,841 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapurin Weirdo | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Nipa | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Buf0 | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | poroliha | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ondǝ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Buf0 | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | poroliha | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ondǝ | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | Masa | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Joe Brrrr | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poroliha | 112 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Buf0 | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Naapurin Weirdo | 12 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nipa | 10 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | Joe Brrrr | 9 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipa | +3.65 | 64 | 58 |
| #2 | Joe Brrrr | +1.72 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | poroliha | +0.54 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | ✪ Lounasseteleiden Monistaja | -0.12 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Buf0 | -2.88 | 63 | 67 |





