








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4277 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2926 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1007 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2816 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,882 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1GigaB3nz | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Dreamshade | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Quacc | 58% | 62 |
| #4 | em_k!ll™ | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Finnly | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 53% | 68 |
| #8 | bara | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Shi-Shu | 47% | 55 |
| #10 | Vendrick der Verwirrte | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | NAXZ ♡ | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreamshade | 6 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | BoCke | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Quacc | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | NAXZ ♡ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quacc | 189 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 128 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vendrick der Verwirrte | 107 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shi-Shu | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | NAXZ ♡ | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bara | +2.64 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Finnly | +2.24 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | -Night-- | +2.15 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Quacc | +2.02 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | NAXZ ♡ | +1.11 | 85 | 57 |





